Its a bunch of hippies dancing in front of a stobe light. For ten dollars I could have gone to the strip club and at least had a lap dance
it's not our fault the pink and the sink are so close together.
false alarm. still invincible.
You know, I really only think drinking is a problem if you're not good at it.
Yeah. We was talkin. Its ok. My bed is too filled with pam for sex. Its like a slip and slide of butter product.
I'm going to have to call in sick tomorrow. After this weekend, there's no way I can handle hearing the accountants talk about double entry without puking.
I've never had a woman show me her venereal disease results in a bar before.
How's your Sunday morning ritual of shitting and throwing up at the same time going?
I feel like I need to get a restraining order against him but I'd probably be the one to break it.
A lot of things don't look good... It doesn't look good for a lifeguard to be smoking a cig and drinking from a conspicuous cup... But hey I'm doin it
I'm going to fuck every single member of the men's olympic swimming team and no one is going to stop me
I yield to the immortal wisdom of one ludacris, who famously wrote, "can't turn a hoe in to a housewife." Indeed, ludacris, indeed.
If you don't wanna wax my ass just say so.
I just found out that there's a bar that has happy hour at 12 pm. It's like the universe doesn't want me to be sober
Be there in a sec. We have to stop at Target to buy her underwear first.
Randomize
