I'm kindof freaked out about my cock not getting up this morning. Cove over later so I can sort this out. Do not post this on texts from last night.
Damn that would have been a great one. Hahah and don't worry...
i never told you how having a club foot got me laid
She said she didn't want me watching her give me a bj, so she proceeded to make a "blowjob igloo" out of blankets...
He added me on Facebook. I'm pretty sure he got my name from the inside of the bra I had lost in the frat house.
The only reason we got away with streaking last time was cuz we had those miner hats
Carry on my wayward bro, there'll be beer when you get low. lay your neon tank to rest, dont you rage no more.
New low, passed out while taking a shit for an hour with my parents home, suprised they didnt notice
The only thing you accomplished yesterday was dry humping me on the floor of my work place WHILE I was working.
I just walked in on my lesbian roommate having sex in the kitchen, and it was awesome. We proceeded to shots naked together. Happy birthday to me.
OH GOD NOT SANTA BABY. NO NO NO. YOU'RE LIKE 85. OMG MULTIPLE WOMEN. NO NO NO STAHP.
So feel off my bed lastnight into the trashcan. On the plus side i thought under my bed was a cave and i went exsploring
I was woken up at 6 am by a second grader trying to give me a sweatshirt for a pillow
If you end up wanting to sit on his face, just make a sound like a dying giraffe and I'll make myself scarce.
my gynecologist gave me a high 5 for not getting any STD's since my last visit and said "Way to go Annabeth!" you have twenty seconds to get to my level
i doubt you are even in possession of a crowbar.
I suggest you not find out the hard way
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