I just gave my whole company pinkeye. How's that for a summer intern's lasting impression? BOOYAHH
: am i supposed to send the mass text 'merry christmas!' to my booty calls too?
Im sitting in church with a backpack full of beer bottles. This is friendship.
Guy, there will be accountabilities this weekend that you will need to respond to, or else.
Eating nacho cheese off the carpet. How is your morning?
Stop trying to get a gf and raw dog some forest beasts like sasquatch
Welcome to stoned Saturday. Full of laser tag and beyonce and awesome
WHY AM I CRAWLING IN OLDER MEN HOLY JESUS
watched my neighbor eat five yodels, mow his lawn, and then cry on his porch after the party... what did you give him?
he said "be careful" then handed me a cheezit...
So I have to masturbate in a hospital. I wonder what kind of porn they have.
Look I'm sorry I stuffed your wife's bouquet toss but I won't have that weak shit in my house.
It got weird the panthers lost and we started throwing wings at one another
okay i know we havent talked for like weeks but i just really wanted to tell you that i miss your dick. like alot.
whose this? and thank you
And he put his penis in my face and I back handed it away.
Randomize
