I have all these new brothers and sisters I'm just now finding out about
i don't care how ready and willing she is. she is where penises go to die
I swear, if he gets me a bowling ball for Christmas, I will throw it at him.
Why were you having sex on top of my left over pizza in the kitchen?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm at about main and main street
well in DOG beers, i've only had one
I didn't just get this from the chlamydia fairy.. You should probably get tested.
I think my new low is running outside in a towel to pet a particularly fluffy looking squirrel and projectile vomiting off the balcony.
True idk how my parents didn't know I was blackout. I ate like 4 pieces of cheesecake and showed my cousins my boobs
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he puked all over my guest bed and the said he felt good enough to clean it up. he poured bleach all over the bed and passed out in it. he had the chemiacal burn for a month...
Welp... sober this am and I still have a parrot.
She is carving a little coffin out of some wood for her hamster that died. I'm flying home tonight.
I can't find my keys and there's a hotdog in my purse.
Last night was a sign that I need to stop sleeping with any girl that can quote the mighty ducks
Specially the ones that look like Goldberg
he told me he had a gf and in the very next sentence asked if I wanted to have sex.
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