Was it cool?
About as cool as only getting a handjob on your honeymoon.
but really, i care about skinny girls as much as michael vick cares about rotweilers
He asked if I wanted to blow his flute? Please call me and pretend there is a family emergency!!!
i am devastated. she was DTF and I was about to puke, i told her to wait outside my room for a second. Puked. Passed out woke up, she was gone. Found puke stains on my keyboard that seem to spell out youporn....
I'm not 100% sure, but I think someone gave me a bath last night...
My mom just asked me if I was gay in front of my gf
We totally just fucked in a closet. These vacations with his family are causing creativity I never thought I had.
Burnt my ear trying to use the bathroom blow dryer as a telephone.
Ok wear gym clothes just in case we feel like going shitfaced to the gym
it's only monday and im already failing all my classes. i give up. tequila tuesday is my only friend.
Oh god. Just tried to hail a pizza delivery car. Awkward.
International sake day = success
Like, I can't stand that bitch, but i genuinely hope she gets the help she needs
I'm right down the road from AJ's old house and I'm getting mixed feelings. My vagina is remembering good dick. But the rest of me is remembering horrible times.
we told you you couldn't get your dick sucked because you were a girl and you yelled at us and said we were 'discriminating you'
I was a plus one at an intervention for a person I didn't know.
Randomize
