Considering the face that your still in jail Im gunna go with no.
the only thing i have to deal with now is the fact that i'm still wearing spandex shorts from last night
see you put your penis in her and it's like an ignition key to start the crazy
Do you not remember you showing everyone in the bathroom your period stained underwear? I'd say you were pretty happy it came
I just realized my mom and I make the same noises when we have sex. Fuck.
Dude. Some drunk chick just put an Aussie hat on me and was screaming at me in German. Her friends had to drag her away. Point being, I now have a cool hat.
We need a fire pit. Meat. And a keg.I mean like a cow we just carve from. And cook it. We can use the milk from the udder to make White Russians
I just washed my birth control down with captain because I don't have any water and I need to wash the blood off my face before I leave my room.....
Remember when I said I had my shit together?
She had her pubic hair down there shaved into the superman s............. Best one night stand ever.
Would it be crossing a line if I told him that I now know his girlfriend has a huge mole on her left ass cheek?
conclusion from last night: i should wear boob glitter more often
When he was leaving this morning he said I'll text you later on and I replied with if you don't that's cool too.
Dude I woke up with a handprint shaped bruise on my ass, a pong ball in my cleavage, and somebody else's gold chain around my neck. Who's house am I in?
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
Don't EVER mix a flaming shot, with a Jello shot.. As good as it sounds flaming Jello is not a good idea
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