Nyc is like a mosaic of my failed dates.
my clit piercing makes the metal detector go off
Then you jumped off your bed with your arms outstretched, yelled "I'm Goliath, watch out New York!" and then began singing the Gargoyles theme song as you 'soared' around your room.
Don't be ridiculous, the Gargoyles theme song has no words. How could I sing that mess?
You just started going "da da da da da! da da da da da! DA DA!!" then going "swoosh" as you glided about.
so we started it doggy style, but since we were really drunk kinda fell to the side and turned into a 'lazy dog'... my new favorite position btw
Talking her gay man friend into dancing with me officially makes me the world's best wingman. ever.
Great. Me and the intoxalock guy are getting so close he just said "alright see you later girl!" when I called about getting the blower recallibrated.
He only talks to me during the summer and it's probably because I let him fuck me in my pool last year.
ME TOO. Am adrunk madr out qith. White guy. Guy de white. Blanco chico. Chico de blanco
Just to prove a point, she called and ordered a pizza 10 min before she ordered the blow and it still got here first. I may never leave LA.
I told you!!! And that is why he's the drug dealer to the stars.
I may have been mad at the Supreme Court/patriarchy and tried to hate fuck myself.
I didn't know where you were for like 15 minutes and then I went in the bathroom splashing water on the mirror and throwing hand towels around saying that you were "redecorating"
If that orgasm indicates how the rest of the year is going to go, I need to buy rain boots.
I looked like a tiger in heat. He didn't know if I wanted to fuck him or eat him.
so i realized that he's only my physical relationship and beer is my emotional relationship...
Clearly the Stanley Cup Finals good luck hand job IS necessary. You let the whole team down.
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