My vagina hasn't been this smooth since I was 8. I better get laid tonight.
so i don't know how many beers it takes to make a recliner look like a toilet, but that's how many i had.
Im debating on how to word my craigslist post so i dont get arrested...
Last time I sleep with a guy with a penchant to fragrance his dick. Every time I sit to pee, I get a whiff of Axe body spray.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am here to underwhelm you with my vagina
My mom was looking at curtains for me and sent pictures and I had to be like "not the Disney princess pink and purple, more like an acid trip"
So I just stole my deans keys to break into the dining hall to get coco puffs. I shouldn't have gone to this meeting stoned.
THANK YOU for not letting me make out with that girl omfg I was one step away from a foursome in the handicapped stall
I guess your brother-in-law will have his day in the sun tonight after you leave. By that, I of course, mean he's gonna suck liquor milk out your sister's tits.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
A guy just grabbed my balls before he shook my hand because he thought he knew me.
I don't think I've ever met a guy with a bush bad enough that I would choose a cactus over it.
Fucking suck it up and drink your feelings like a normal human being.
Bro I just got a hand job playing tiny wings.. Hell yea
We should form a club for all of us that have stabbed a sibling with a fork!
I sent him nudes while he is at work because I am an evil human being.
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