Okay I've seen like three girls walking around crying today. Weird?
everyone's regretting their thursdays.
As soon as he lost the election, the reception's open bar became a cash bar. I have never been so disappointed in my countrymen.
i just got on a party bus. i think i left my belly button at the bar.
He can spot Burberry from half a bar away. He's not into vag
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You know when you meet a penis that looks like it was made out of all your hopes and dreams?
BURNT NIPPLES ARE UNHAPPY NIPPLES.
lets talk about you, dubstep, and a bunny suit.
Mom called her a cunt. I think that's code for "don't bring her over ever again."
Getting day drunk before work is perfectly acceptable when its 99 cent margaritas.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Saying you need a hooker then asking me to have sex is NOT the way to get laid. Booty call 101.
So you're saying you don't want to be with her anymore because she likes sex to much and is just to hot?
Well when you say it that way it makes me sound like an idiot.
You are an idiot.
all I know is this drummer better stop eye fucking me while he plays cowbell. it is way too early for that.
It can't be Friday yet, in still getting friend requests of people I don't remember from last weekend
THERE IS JIZZ ON MY CEILING. HOW THE FUCK IS THERE JIZZ ON MY CEILING
The only thing good about being back at work is the lunch time hand jobs from the MILF
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