The crazy thing is, I dont actually know where the cat is, she said something bout the back of the toilet and a sock.
Take in how we used all the shot glasses in the bar in less than an hour
Drunk Tina signed up to be part of the crew team and got a text from the captain telling her there's practice tomorrow. Wtf
Being thankful with your family is one thing. Being thankful with your friends while getting drunk and smoking bowls while eating leftovers, priceless.
At what point would you like us to save you from yourself?
You said that about some fat chick sitting on the base of a lamp post and puking. Downright heroic.
I'm glad we are bonding over both contracting clamidya. Winners.
100%
You're either a hooker or Beyonce. Beyonce is abnormally good at doing everything in heels
my vagina can't take this anxiety. there is no way he is 19 and this smooth. he's lying about his age or he's a goddamn sexual prodigy
The walk of shame is a lot easier when I'm at a music festival and it's 12 feet from his tent to my tent
You are living the dream.
Yes but funny for a 45 year old hell bent on reliving her college days by giving body shots and hand jobs. Not necessarily in that order
You know you're doing well in life when weed is considered to improve your job performance
I got my period during my acid trip. It was weird.
I miss you.
Yeah, I don't want to have sex.
Excuse me. I’m a mature responsible adult.
You got your arm stuck in a vending machine trying to get fruit snacks.
I had a cast on my hand and if I paid for my fruit snacks, I’m getting my fruit snacks.
Randomize
