I asked him where the store BJ's was and he unzipped his pants.
his dad told me thanks for making his little boy a man at breakfast this morning
Two man bar crawl was hectic. Just found leaves in my pocket.
Downstairs neighbor just asked me to tell people when they jump off the balcony next time not to land on her flowers
Lost gin update. Blackout me found and re-hid the bottle. Left a note to myself saying, "GOOD LUCK, SUCKER!"
Is my lip ring still in your hair?
Sorry for rubbing my feet on you and repeating "good pony, stay."
Nothing better than going to Mass on Easter Sunday with "I love penis" henna tattooed across your back. Love your Indian culture.
Ask her if it hurt when she broke through earths crust as she ascended from hell
We fucked on a kid's slide, my vagina is singing praises of being used
I think it's safe to assume that dad heard you lose your lesbian virginity last night
I just met a drunk old lady with a bedazzled life alert alarm around her neck. I love casinos
I used my mad pharmacist skills to turn ordinary birth control into morning after. I think my professors would be proud.
Put the lady boner away. He's engaged. To my brother. No, life is not fair.
Two words: nipple clamps
Randomize
