DAMN! I hate it when i drunkenly erase all my "sent message" and wake up in the morning and my inbox is full of "WTF?" and "Huh?" messages.
you were mad bc i took longer then 2 minutes to finish
Dude i have a 6th sense for when bagel bites are ready.
it's like, God thought about making her pretty then changed his mind at the last second
its a sex-hate relationship...no love involved
Based on how hungover I feel today, it makes more sense that the bouncer didn't let me in to that bar.
My doctor literally wrote on the script NO SEX
Apparently I confessed my love for him last night. Also, my love for cash4gold commercials.
I passed out in the stadium during the 4th quarter and you guys just left me there?
Yea, but we put money for a cab in your pocket.
Do you know what's great about Canada?..... There will always be a Tim Hortons on my walk of shame route
That which doesn't kill you gives you an excuse to get shitfaced later
She's trying to change her flight... IM BEING COCKBLOCKED BY DELTA CUSTOMER SERVICE
I wish period tracker had a "on this day" also so i can see who i was with this day last year.
I'm smoking and watching the Muppets Treasure Island. Where are you?
Something about that statement reminds me just how much of a role model you are, sis.
Dude I love you. So much. Thank u. I'm safea. In allysi lns car. Mine towed. If u loved me ud leand me 500 in the morning. Sleep on it nd let me know.
Randomize
