When I went to court, my judge's name was Honorable Ball. I couldn't stop laughing.
that probably didn't help your case.
my periods are so regular now that they are sync-ed with my subscriptions of vogue.
My cousin just asked what abortion is. Happy Holidays.
threw up during christmas carols. the audience at the church seemed to immediately know i was a college student
hapi new year, hope this year brings u happiness and lots of sexi people ;)
stop writing like that.
Care to explain why there is sushi in the soap dish in the bathroom
I only remembered where urgent care was because it's across the street from my favorite bar
Heed the warning of the ghost of Oktoberfest present: German beer is soooooooo much better than our watered down children's piss. also lost all my clothes and am wearing lederhosen the rest of the trip.
Nothing like an alcohol-fueled, 6-hour-long hunt for weed--complete with occasional breaks for sex.
Just pulled a muscle trying to take a naked pic. I think it's time to start working out again.
We won't have time to talk.. I'll be rolling you a blunt and you'll be getting naked.
I could teach a class on "expressing your thanks through photos taken of yourself in the shower"
All I know, is I had green sex and beer and got driven home. That's it.
Passing out drunk in my therapists lobby may not be the best way to confirm my "stability"
Who wants to play the "pick up your shit from our floor because you're not paying rent or dating either of us" game?
Randomize
