Smith looks like a guy that goes on a lot of first dates
Tell Heather sorry for burning her hair. Also for anything else that I may have done that warrants and apology. Anything after about 10pm is kind of hazy.
So random guy from last night came over tonight. I told myself I wasn't going to sleep with him but he had some killer dirty talk and a big penis in his arsenal...what was I supposed to do? Supposedly he lost his virginity to his wife and since their divorce a year ago I'm the 1st girl he's slept with, I feel like I just re-took his virginity...I feel like a rockstar.
Why do you keep getting laid in MY dreams
Goldfish can't live in a bowl filled with tequila, lesson learned.
i remember getting really pissed off when you wouldn't let me sleep in the garage with your cat.
I'm not gonna lie. having my legs shaved for me in the morning was a lovely surprise.
The staff doesn't like it when you try and take your wheelchair for a joy ride since I've been waiting for an hour and a half.
And I feel like pitchers of margaritas accidentally make it down your throat a lot.
I mean, the lady at the Mexican restaurant insisted. She said she would win a prize if she sold another pitcher before noon. And plus I got to wear a sombrero
This is my gift to your gina
I kinda got drunk and threw my debit card into a bonfire so I don't have any money at the moment lol.
He slapped my ass... He best ask me out. Or figure out how to unslap my ass.
Me saying I wish i was a better person + me pretending I don't want to fuck on my period = me lying
Ive completely stopped wearing makeup. Not even eyebrows. Thats how sick of wisconsin I am.
My GF, FWB and Side piece are all booty calling me. I’m a victim of my sexual success
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