She's hot, in a Megan Fox with Down's Syndrome kinda way. Like, she'd win Miss Deliverance Pageant
At least she's the hottest one. Oh well, it's all about stats
i forgot beer had calories. that would explain alot.
I Never golf you the sypdu of andrew. The one o will marry. The one j plwgded my last breath up. The one I pledged everything I live forbworh to. I love him more than life itself
Just asked my dog if he was proud of me for making it home. That drunk.
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You refused to come over and kept yelling that you were gonna sleep on a car
NEVERCLEAR, NEVER AGAIN.
the campus cop used the word depravity in our citation.
When you passed out on the kitchen counter she brushed and flossed your teeth, then carried/dragged you to bed. Why aren't you married?
Come on. I'll make you hot pockets. Literally and sexually.
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Thank you. Next to bondage, soft American Apparel t-shirts are the best things you've taught me about.
I may or may not have definitely said the words "how do I put this beer in my purse without looking like an alcoholic" last night.
You have all semester to unpack your car, quarter jello shots only last until 10.
It's Christmas. You could splurge on something a LITTLE fancier than wine in a box.
Sarah was butt-chugging wine and diarrhea'd all over the wall
DO NOT TRY TO APPROACH HER CAT. IT IS A DEMON CAT FROM SATAN'S BALLS AND IT *WILL* TRY TO KILL YOU. I SPEAK FROM EXPIRENCE.