Gayer than 8 guys blowing 9 guys
wow, that really makes you stop and think.
Just incase you were wondering, the count of ladies who have perioded on chairs at our fine restaurant is now at 3.
I bet there is no greater pleasure in life than pistol whipping people.
Anal.
If God's watching us, we might as well be entertaining
she had a my little ponys comforter. i left when she went to the bathroom
He bought me a pink rose and a Plan B. I really like this guy.
Not to make her into that kind of girl, but she did have a condom mural
There's a skateboard on the patio and all the chips are gone. The note on the fridge says 'don't buy cheese'. Stop letting her go outside.
Just shook hands with the bud light truck driver, thanked him for his service to our country
My last google search of the night was "Things that cost $102.50"
How do you politely tell someone to get out of your house in Russian
Are you ok?!
I assume I've stopped bleeding because I haven't passed out, but can't verify currently.
On a scale of 1 to alcoholic in withdrawal how ready will you be to start drinking as soon as you arrive on campus?
Laying on my driveway in my pajamas in the sun having my severe hangover cigarette, and the daycare house across the street is having playtime in the yard! I believe I'm currently being what's known as a "bad example!"
How did I get home last night?
We put your keys on a lanyard that asked anyone that found you to bring you home. A nice man in a cape, green shorts and a mesh shirt dropped you off this morning.
Oh. Yeah. Riiiggghhht
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