if all i could do was poop and smoke weed, i'd be eternally happy
amen to that sister
im pretty sure vibrators are the best invention since dinosaur chicken nuggets
You might not want to sit on your couch. Actually you may want to throw it away. My bad.
thanks 4 putting "im not your boyfriend baby" on my sex playlist. she just got pissed and left.
Satisfying Perfect Camera Moments
i talked to you about this last night, and you kept saying "he wants yo pusssaayyyyyy"
i cant answer while inside this church craft show. so unless you're outside with my engagement ring and a nonfat gingerbread latte, it'll have to wait.
I woke up to find that chris drank one of my contacts.
Yeah he's good at that.
The last text I sent him was about nachos. Frankly, if he can't respond positively to that he can fuck off...
It was like inception, a dream, in a dream, in the back of a dodge charger.
This Dog Travel Carrier is a Must
the cashier ate half of our fries before she gave them to us so i think it's safe to say they don't do drug testing there
As Scar once said. Be prepared! For the shit show of what's coming tonight
Well at least I still have a burrito in my pocket.
Now with the essential back story, I can empathize. Sorry about your beer and butthole.
It is 5:00PM and I'm just now putting on underwear.
A stripper set a mans ass on fire... the club smelled like burning ass and boxers.