pshh wine cellars. now if he has a tequila cellar whole different story
It's official. Every guy I've slept with has been to jail.
I literally ate my thanksgiving dinner while getting a lapdance. And honestly, after that, there is no other way.
He left an unopened 12 pack of beer by my bed. I guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex..
Whoever put the tambourine in the dryer is a douche. Worst hangover wakeup ever
I don't know ur idea of a good first date but I'm pretty sure it shouldn't include him holding my hair while I puke in the street
let's just say if he has a penis and he hypothetically needs to put it somewhere... i would take care of that for him.
He hasn't responded, but he probably just jizzed in his shorts again, so I'll give him time.
I choose McDonald's breakfast at 1:28am over sex anytime
I'm cleaning my apartment while naked. Anyone who says that's not why they want to live on their own is lying.
He just unloaded a dump truck full of red flags on my head.
His dick is a spiritual experience and meditation is very important to me.
I was walking out of the bar when he said I'll see you later and I said I'll see you in my dreams and then fell face first and broke my nose
I love you. You know I enjoy the constant sex noises
Good morning beautiful! Wanna steal a cat this weekend?
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