I mean I can't believe yesterday ended w/ your house getting firebombed. What an unexpected turn of events
my night went downhill once I lost my bikershorts. EAWSSSSYY ACCESS
I told my new friends about my possible new chin. They said I should get my nose done first. Please tell me I'm pretty or something.
it's like iHOP with fire
About to find out how well alcohol and lazer tag mix.
These guys are walking up and down the hallway yelling, "Yo, is this the floor with the unisex bathroom?"
just remembered that i started a tab for just myself at 50 cent beer night last night... i dont understand my life
Judging by what she did last night, I would say at least 4 of them have mono now.
I tried. Now my legs are bleeding and I cracked my head on the coffee table. Never taking your advice again.
You're just mad that I don't wanna have dugout sex with you
...if you're living vicariously thought me, that was a great blow job you just gave in the B&N parking lot.
I can't ever date him again. Whenever I see his face I just remember helplessly pissing myself in my car.
Got into Princeton. So excited about the mommy-issue-over-achieving-cock I get to ride the next 4 years!!!
I just realized that you're going to be drunk for daylight savings time again. Godspeed.
The moment you tore my shirt off I knew I wanted to spend the rest of my life with you
Randomize
