I really want to sleep with her friend. I'm hoping our casual sex relationship will somehow lead to that.
Wow. 8.8 earthquake hit Chile this morning
didn't feel it. :)
It's like 5 thousand miles away of course you didn't.
wait what? so it's not in america?
He told me I couldn't drink an unopened bottle of water he had in his room because that was his emergency bong water
I'm going to come in a little later this morning....there's no heterosexual way to say this....$1 flip flop sale at old navy
Wanna hang out, and by hang out I mean go get plan B... and maybe lunch, but mostly plan b
You were so high you insisted on spoon feeding me your KFC bowl while I was driving.
Was who let the dogs out playing?
Ya. You started barking when it ended
Bad news: I found out that girl you want has a boyfriend. Good news: she'll probably cheat on him with you. Better news: after seeing the way she treats him, that's the most interaction you're going to want with her anyway. Trust me.
Having a vagina does not stop me from believeing my balls are bigger than yours.
He hasn't responded, but he probably just jizzed in his shorts again, so I'll give him time.
I fucked my cousin and caught chlamydia this year. I can't really harbour any illusions about myself anymore.
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO GET MY FUCKING CUPCAKES WHEN THE GROUNDSWORKER I HOOKED UP WITH IS LOITERING IN THE VENDING AREA
You were making out with a freshman and said you wanted to back to his place. Then when you got to the door to leave you said "never mind." He sad it wasn't fair and you got all serious and told him "welcome to the real world kid."
its gotten to the point where if her hand isn't on my butt i think we're in a fight
if my uterus stops caving in on itself long enough for me to be alive I'm there
I am so horny. It's like all the stress of finals week has relocated to my vagina.
Randomize
