he was on top of me and all of a sudden stopped and starting picking his nose...i asked him if he was okay, he sort of looked confused, and he told me he had a booger that hurt. guess its a good thing i wasnt planning on dating this guy
I just smoked a bowl in the dining room and am now drinking a glass of chocolate milk. i can't believe i'm getting paid for this.
I'm sitting by myself in my bra eating a waffle and drinking pineapple rum. gamedaaaayyyyyyy
I think Charlie st. Cloud is the saddest thing I can masturbate to.
I just got a flashback from Saturday night of you helping me wash my feet in the bar's bathroom.
She just rubbed her face all over pool chalk. I feel like it's time to go
I don't remember its real name, I just call it the Harrison Ford Cush after that idea with the Indiana Jones mask. I should just get high and sell people my ideas for their Halloween costumes all the time. I'd make a fucking fortune.
Although I am concerned about who made the decision to let you loose in a bridal show I am proud to see you in a sombero again.
Let's get really high and wear fake mustaches and try not to laugh at each other...
I'm 10 cats away from completing my post divorce transformation.
Way to go. Now you have no beer and I have a cold tit.
I gave a handjob to the beat of uptown fuck last night
It's sad that I'm more proud of my Twitter account then my resume
Leave it to you to bring a trash can into a fist fight.
If you're going to be single forever, you should try the quesalupas at Taco Bell.
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