and then he said that the only reasonable explanation as to why I got swine flu was because all I ever do is join the bandwagon
this morning he rolled over looked at me and said "oooo, you look like i need a drink" and then put on his clothes and left without another word
Im at the zoo right now high out of my mind and feel as if the animals are watching me and Im the one in a cage.
I left myself a trail of jello shots, that ended at his door. OR maybe he left me a trail of jello shots at his door. DO I GO IN!?
I've decided I'm gonna attack people with the toilet plunger.
Man, I wish they all looked like that. Your vagina deserves to have a nice frame around it, and God's signature at the bottom.
You were sitting in the tub, clothed, squirting my KY all over yourself. You said "it's warm." then passed out.
I think my sunburn makes my ass look bigger
my spring break was before theirs and i literally fed him vodka all week, only stopping for class and bowls. like handles. i cant even think anymore, that chastity belt was hard to get off,
I just started the bonfire using a tampon. Who knew they could have multiple uses?
I never thought my selfie stick would come in handy for nudes.
"We drove to the deserted part of the parking lot, and that's where we blew each other. It was so romantic."
Did a 4 pm walk of GLORY the next day.
it's 1043 pm. still havent changed out of the shirt i wore last night so at this point i figure i'll go for twosies.
Do plants get herpes?
who is this
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