think what you will about my sexuality, just get the cigarettes
I just spent the last 30 minutes shaving my asshole.
i just watched my husband get a prostate exam. sex is ruined for me.
I wish "capable of destroying an innocent girl's life" is something I could put on my resume
So i just found out i replied to my room mates craigslist ad. Akward
letting you know, as a good neighbor, that when your windows open and your shade is up we can hear and see you dancing naked to money maker... nice boobs
dude i've broken up a marriage, I think I can handle a simple engagement.
Did I tell you I had a charge show up for $36 on a credit card I haven't used in 6 months from Wild Wings? It was that night we slept across the street from the bar.
its fine. mom just made me chug a long island. and made a crying face when i balked. we'll talk tomorrow.
Yea. I feel great. My life is great. My job isn't as shitty. And my daddy loves me. I love strip clubs. Great self esteem boost.
Grass is always greener, Allison, grass is always greener
The grass is drunker and I'm lying down on it
Only ESPN could find the two ugly girls from a school in Florida
I have peed in a lot of sinks
we should get together and get drunk.
On a Monday?
don't discriminate against mondays.
Man, I'm never going tanning again he noticed the burns on my ass
Randomize
