Yes, I am watching The Hills Have Thighs. And yes it is a porno remake of The Hills Have Eyes. And, again, yes, lesbian sex in the desert. Get the sand out.
She kept saying "I'm going to hell" the entire time we were fucking. I really wasn't sure what to do... so I agreed with her.
That was definitely the right answer.
In the middle of fucking me, she said "Hold on, I need my Hulk hands."
I woke up in a place I've never been before, with people I've never met before using me as a table for domino's.
Got hereat 8. Had 6 beers 2 shots and a game of diZZY BATOS
Tip of the day: Don't ever send a bootycxall at 3 in aftnoon. No one will respond n u'll just feel fooolish.
They ran out of ice at the party, so I fixed my drink with frozen broccoli....the show must go on!
I found out that rock climbing and alcohol does not go together. Ask my broken arm.
Spotify knows me way to well. You mention swinger club and guess what it shuffles to? Danger Zone by Kenny Loggins
Just got a motivational speech from the tacobell drive thru guy at 2am
I need all the beers. I want to be holding on to the grass so I don't fall off the earth drunk.
He can kiss the multicultural 3 some goodbye
Anne is dead. totally passed out and was flat out in the street
i just ran butt naked down the hall and someone highfived me. i love college.
I texted him: “Come over for the Super Bowl. I promise lots of scoring.”
My divorce is turning into a porn script
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