if you call bong hits and onion rings a party, then yeah
woke up this morning with a fat chick but she went downstairs and made pancakes without saying a word.
dont worry about it. i always have emergency bong water with me
My warmest regards to the fish in that koi pond I puked in.
I feel like I'm sitting in a sleigh of puddy. It's not a bathtub though because you need a sleigh to go down a mountain.
But please don't judge me if i smell like mustard
Come over so we can hookup and eat tacos. Those are 2 things you can't possibly turn down.
I was going to make out with him...then he licked syrup off the kitchen floor.
I'm waiting at the bar and am surrounded by unattractive women.
You need to get here and rebalance this disturbance in the force.
Remember when we partied so hard that dude died and it cockblocked you hooking up with my sister?
I forgot that happened. That's the second dude that died on a vacation I've been on
To give you an idea, there's a group upstairs trying to break down a door with their fists and heads.
she asked me to come back to her house where "hopefully her kids were asleep". that my friend is what i call a dealbreaker
You are hereby uninvited from future Turnt Tuesdays until further notice.
Did I try to sell your body for chicken tenders last night?
I'm planning our wedding on the computer and our threesome on my phone. At the same time.
Randomize
