1:32 am: your girlfriend looks like a man
1:48 am: your uglier
Is it 'vaginas' or 'vaginae?'. Either way there were a shit ton of them.
you have to give me like a days notice for these kinds of things, you cant just call at 9 am and expect me to be sober
In the middle of blowin me she stoppped and told me how easy it would be to insert a catheter ..... Apparently she was a nursing major
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He was wearing a Knicks jersey I had to go home with him. it was a rough season.
im calling her cock vulture from now on
we tried to steal a tractor last night. you should have come out.
For future reference, the blowjob coupons I gave you for your birthday are NOT transferable to pay your friends for tacos.
I got shot at today. If that doesn't get me at least a blow job I give up working on the south side
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
5am update: in a toga seeing triple made out with both sexes
I thi k this dude I fcken showed up to the bar in a raisins shirts. I thought I was better than that. Fuckkkk.
I'll pay you to write the paper but not for sex. You should only get paid for something you work hard at.
I met her daughter,who I went to high school with on my way out this morning. She didn't seem to surprised. I love older women.
He's the stereotypical redneck. He tried to go kayaking during a storm and almost got into a fight when a park ranger tried to stop him
There's a whistle here and I just want to play my whistle song on it.
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