How do I say to her "Have you eaten mango lately because my penis had an allergic reaction"
i pounded out a 17-yr-old on saturday night
no, that is not a typo
i turned her down on fri night, googled the state consent laws & then caved on saturday
I seriously might throw up right now. In class. Sunglasses on. I'm getting too old for this.
I'm drunk at McDonald's in a fairy costume at 10 am nearly two weeks after Halloween. I don't think the Ohio State fans get it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
if I'm at school tomorrow just indulge my moment of pity and let me cry on your shoulder
i introduced myself to everyone by my new name, thundergooch. i threatened the neighbors with a hammer when they used my real name. needless to say, sailor jerry was not kind to me.
He came up to me looked at my tits said they were huge, rated them a 7 and then asked if girls really do masterbate. To make it better, he put his hand up to my face and said his penis is longer than my face...
I don't know what to say to that. All I know is my vagina is trying to jump through the phone.
What's the procedure for answering a booty call from someone under house arrest?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh and an honorable mention for your father's porn collection. Things I'll never forget.
So it's official...my sex life has improved since Pokemon came out...
I went looking for them and I pulled my pants down and peed on the lawn. I found my phone in the same spot in the morning.
Can you explain the Transformers set up for battle in my living room?
well you did quote socrates while playing beer pong and then proceeded to fall down
you never know when your going to find a surprise from me in your bed...it keeps you on your toes.
Randomize