She guessed my name 9 times, and 5 of those times she guessed Mike. Figured that'd be an easy target for the night.
i just realized i dont have a sober facebook picture since 2007
she was pretty happy for someone in the middle of a herpes outbreak, how was i supposed to know?
she got to the point every few minutes she checked to see if her boobs were still there.
I think rendering her infertile would be a valid community service project
the bartender cut you off himself after you started walking on tops of tables and hugging random people
He made me leave when I challenged "all you bitches" to a game of strip taboo.
i admit it was a weird experience, but why regret what once made you cum
Ended up in some house where this dude has a $1200 leopard cat
I am buying anal lube, an enema, and a bag of kit kats. What part of this is compelling the Walgreens woman to tell me to "be well".
Opened my notebook to coke all over the pages. So, if that's any indication on how this weekend went.
i showed up really high and was trying to not be,so in order to not seem high, i got plastered
I can't decide if I miss drinking or you, they are so closely connected.
Just saw a hotel with a bunch of mattresses in the parking lot. Made me think of you.
Congrats, you are the first person our bartender ever met that actually needed wheeled out of a bar in a wheelchair. He said you were his hero.
Randomize
