after taking her first shot and having her first random hook up she finally feels like she is ready for college
she has no idea
so i don't know how many beers it takes to make a recliner look like a toilet, but that's how many i had.
That's actually a fantastic idea... The kinky sex dungeon will be vastly improved by the addition of a lightsaber
I say go for the trifecta and maybe you'll get a medal or something. Or a baby. That's like the same thing right?
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Two shots of gin says this is gonna be a sloppy lab write up.
There is a 1000000% chance you'll be turned down if you try coming on to me while I watch Star Wars.
I don't need to marry the guy. I just need some filthy, shameful wish fulfillment sex and then live out the rest of my life on the bean farm.
it was cool until he whispered 'sounds like you need a good dicking' with a completely serious face and i just lost it
Definitely went down on him last night while he was wearing a cape. He randomly kept swirling it around me and "revealing me" in the mirror like a magic trick. I'm not even a little upset, it's fun fucking younger guys.
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I have no idea what to do with myself since we graduated.
I've just been napping and sexting all day.
Just got back from a Walmart run. The music went straight from Kid Rock to John Phillip Souza. If that doesn't scream 'MURICA I don't know what will. Happy 4th!
"Uno más" are officially my least favorite words in the entire Spanish language.
My boss is paying me to come clean his house in a maid outfit and told me not to tell anyone....this is shady as fuck but I need the money
Dude. So. Much. Sex. Find a girl in her 30s. Now.
breakfast this morning: omelette, Valium and baileys hot chocolate
Now that sounds like the breakfast of champions
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