I want to stick my p in your. b.
Yes, it's true. 4 fingers.
I woke up covered in my own vomit with a pocket full of napkins. I guess I knew I would need them, but was not coherent enough to use them before passing out.
I just fucked 3 marines at the same time...how did you celebrate veterans day?
Do you ever go through someone elses pictures and just appreciate the fact that youre not really friends with them?
Was waiting for the adderal to kick in then realized I had been brushing my teeth for eighteen minuites
A guy wearing a hard hat while floating the river. It's the most responsible drinking we saw all day.
Amazing. Super drunk. We stole a street sign in a golf cart and went around jousting trash cans all night.
I DON'T CARE LET'S GET DRUNK AND GO. I STRAIGHTENED MY HAIR DO THIS FOR ME.
I'm in a pile of cheezits at an unfamiliar location watching dateline on tlc. Stage an intervention.
Told some guy to hold your weave while you "tried" to kick his girlfriends ass...
Currently at a fetish club with a set of swings (don't ask). Having flashbacks to the park by my house
The girl I was Skype sexing just asked for a moment of silence for robin Williams.
Because of you I'm damaged goods. I'm a fucking soup can and you dropped me.
the only fun thing to do here is drink beer and make mistakes. i feel like im in college again
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