Nipple clamps can be ambiguous
eating toast while peeing. You think this what kanye meant by the good life?
I've come to the conclusion that the only reason I fucked him was because he reminded me of Seth Rogen.
I'm totally counting that party when he kept putting his hands down my pants as a date.
She made me add her as a friend on fb before she got into my bed... I sense a stalker
What happened to him?
He was walking right behind us then disappeared.. turns out he checked his luggage at a night club, continued to drink and dance, then slept on the 4th floor of some museum
I've always wanted to pass out in a bathtub
I think most people do. Your only real mistake was turning the water on first.
Do you think they make a "sorry in my drunken debauchery I dropped a pumpkin off the balcony and you happened to be standing right there/get well soon" card?
so, she was so drunk she tried stabbing me with a corn dog stick
He is getting married. In the time it took for this conversation he probably cheated on her three times
DUDE FUCK CALL ME SHE HAS GRANDKIDS
Ugh, once again I had to block the view of him peeing off the hotel bar balcony, I earned those free drinks!
Is there a reason why your pubic hair is a plastic bag on my bathroom floor? And yes I know its yours... You wrote your name on the bag
"Fwd: Nice to meet you last night thanks for the tit flash" no recollec. i am officially banned from wearing tube tops to the bar.
low point of the night : a cop just busted out laughing at me.
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