Strawberries are so good its weird that food is growable
Small penises have feelings too.
i would never do something against you youre the best i ever had
please tell me you did not just intentionally quote drake..
I watched the entire movie Forgetting Sarah Marshall before I realized it was in Spanish.
You kept buying everyone Washington apple shots, and telling us we needed to support local produce.
She was giving me head while we were in my tree house, my mom then came out to let the dog out so she stopped so I would stop groaning, was it good? You tell me
I didn't realize how drunk I was until my vagina was in the snow.
my spring break was before theirs and i literally fed him vodka all week, only stopping for class and bowls. like handles. i cant even think anymore, that chastity belt was hard to get off,
Almost to work. And still feel hungover. Like my body is trying to regenerate after dying. Full on zombie shit. But like, one of those zombies from warm bodies that comes back to life slowly.
I'm only wearing socks and eating tuna, don't do this to me right now.
Would it be inappropriate to send a friend request to the sheriff that fingerprinted me last night???
I'm ready to run through the streets naked yelling "HES ALIVE!"
Why were you twerking to, "The Wheels on the Bus"?
I smell like cotton candy and guilt.
it is time to test the effects of half a loaf of bread and overconfidence on the human body
Randomize
