Dude I just figured out the mystery flavor of airhead is vodka sprite, no way i'm wrong
I'm thinking about that time I was in a trashbag and you spray painted my hair yellow
apparently my insurance doesn't cover road head. Bummer.
the fact that i fell through a skylight is the least humiliating part of the night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Those mornings you wake up with a Barbie tramp stamp are the mornings that are the that are going to make me miss this place
That one dude should feel honored if he were to get herpes from you. Fuck that Guy. He is a herpe.
Ive seen his manscaping faults. Given the choice I'd rather dry hump a cactus
I will kick you in all of your body parts. All at once.
I just trimmed my bush to manageable levels. I'm gonna take a nap and then get in there and finish the job.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just realized how terrible that was... I was drumming on your penis to a song about Baby Jesus.
And if you haven't kicked a pigeon you haven't started your morning right
i just want to get drunk and cry and have sex with lots of men
Our Uber driver pulled over to show us Tinder some dick pics. Top that.
Guys I ate pizza off the fucking ground of the cab. I am the worst type of person
also, when i showed up he started talking to me and eventually asked me if the girls treated me well. i went on to talk about my sex life. he was talking about his secretaries.
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