you know what would be great? if dirt tasted like steak and could get you drunk.
I really need to stop carrying a flask around with me in my backpack at school..
Aren't you in 8th grade?
9th, but that's not the point.
sperm doesn't mix with malibu too well
There is a girl in bio drinking beer out of a starbucks cup with a straw
I yelled "Coming in hot." before penetrating. Im pretty sure she loved it.
for the record, graham crackers won't get the taste of cock out of your mouth. also we're out of graham crackers
Found her with a stray dog now called champagne, crying about how she feels a mom now. Had to take her home. The dog too.
I'm laying in the fetal position on the floor of my kitchen eating potato salad with my fingers. Please come over with some real food and keep me company.
I think ur a lot drunker then u think u are. That girl has the body of a cartoon character and not in a good way.
I think you are the only one slutty enough and evil enough for the job. Just go in and blue ball him. He broke my nose in Middle school. He deserves this.
I wish you were awake and high the same times I was awake and high. And also in the same state. So we can fuck passionately.
I should be a dude... Walking a goat on a rope is a total chick magnet.
He got naked after doing the Ice Water Challenge and it was still enormous. So, yeah, I stayed over.
I'm very impressed by your ability to explain a story about your fiery snatch solely in emojis. props.
1 why did you tell them where i peed last night and 2 where the fuck are you
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