I like my sex mixed with concussions.
suddenly SuperBad didn't seem so funny anymore...she did have her period on my leg.
my life trainwreck boards at 9:30
At this point, I really just need a sign in sheet for my vagina.
90% sure you snuck in there somewhere, all I really remember is big boobs in my face so I'm assuming it was you.
also karaoke with swedish 7yr old and drunk 50yr old = best idea ever
We really shouldn't need this many nicknames for the women you've had sex with.
I'm sorry but the visual image of you suffocating on vagina is basically hysterical
Trusting in Jesus is not a viable birth control plan.
THERES A BEAVER CHASING ME, ANGRY BEAVERS IS FUCKING REAL DUDE
so then the cop took one last hit off our blunt and then drove off in his car and we just all stood there thinking, yea... that just happened...
It shouldn't be this hard to find someone who you haven't blown.
A guy at my table is reading a magazine called "Cheese Connoisseur"
Where'd you go?
Laundry, im. A responsible drunk
I think the cop who arrested me yesterday is at my gym rn should I say hi
Randomize
