hide the guitars, Nate just learned to play free fallin'
dude i dont realllllly have to fuck her do i? its just a mess down there and i think im gonna cry
Just found out Brianna Frost the Pornstar goes to my school. Makes that $35,000 tuition that more valuable.
she's using motion activated glade air fresheners as some sort of early warning system
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
And my cat won't make me food. She's a bitch
it was good, but also weird. like, i came four times and then cried weird.
Sex is always the answer.
Especially if the question is: what have I not had this year?
Dude, I came home and you were passed out halfway through the front door in your Minnie Mouse outfit... with a beer still in hand
I made everyone scream the national anthem with me after playing true American last night. I'm pretty much their leader now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I made out with a girl because I wanted to get in the VIP section of the bar because they have these big comfy couches. It worked.
I appreciate the I'll come bail you out of jail tone in the text
you asked how they got the microwave in the air. we had to explain three times that it was mounted there until you finally feel asleep
sober me is not impressed with the quality of people that drunk me gives our phone number to
my roomie eats chipotle far too often. when i was looking for a bag to throw up in I had my choice of a wlamart bag and 10 chipotle bags
Quick question: now that you've broken up, should I also delete the nudes your boyfriend sent me while you were together??
Randomize