Does having sex in the men's bathroom on the boardwalk count as having sex on the beach?
The only thing better than Call of Duty is getting jerked off while playing Call of Duty.
I kept feeling my boobs..just to make sure they were still there.
she was passed out on the moving sidewalks in the airport, we NEED to travel more often
Last night I dipped into my beer fund to pay for groceries. SINCE WHEN ARE MY PRIORITIES SO WHACK???
Cognac is not meant to be taken in shots. I just wanted you to know the desperation of last night.
If you are wondering why there is half eaten pizza in your pocket it's because you were passed out with it in your hand in my bathtub. Today's your b-day and thought I'd give you a good idea about what happened last night as a present
Can we talk about the fact that I plucked weed off your ass this morning like it's a normal thing to do?
Jesus these cramps...it's like every potential fetus I swallowed last night is personally punching me in the uterus
I'm just mad because I can't play gta5 all day tomorrow cuz I'll be in court testifying against a craigslist prostitute...
He's the only guy without a tacky accent I've seen in this southern dump in 6 months. Bangage was inevitable.
You're such a Yankee.
why am i naked
you took off your clothes at the party and some guy took them home
You walked in wearing nothing but a beekeeper mask
Dude, my ex girlfriend showed up, bought me a tequila shot, made out with me and then disappeared into the night. Then her current girlfriend saw, so she came over and slapped me and then I made out with her too
This was before halftime
I RUINED A LESBIAN RELATIONSHIP BEFORE HALFTIME
There are two guys here arguing over Pearl jam and Nirvana. 1991 wants its argument back.
Randomize
