can you explain to me why you commented on every one of my profile pics with "tits and beer ftw" please and thank you.
sometimes i wish i was the girl in a porno. that way if i couldn't get any, i'd just order a pizza and do him.
they just did a mariachi cover of free bird
If I die and they 'assume' it's natural causes, just go with it.
she just totaled her parents new car because there was a bee in the car. So she crashed into a light pole to kill it.
I'm really really gonna try not to at least one night. The 4 day thanksgiving bender almost killed me last year
Good news! I don't have Hep C! Better news! I still hate you!
So half of us were already throwing up outside when the Ukrainians ask us if we're ready to start partying yet. I love this country.
Look, I'm just saying... paying ur respects to the neighbors who had a death in the family with food u steal from the neighbors having the cookout may result in a negative karma situation.
Shes 18 and still has a curfew. it was great. didnt have to worry about her still being here in the morning.
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
Well she made a 15 year old cry, the grandmother did an ice luge and I woke up to the sound of sex moans
I'm super disappointed in my clit.
Hey I'm at the gym and I need your personal trainer help. Also can you send me that picture of me eating a sausage. I want to post it on instgram.
Do you remember seeing anyone put a "my other penis is a vagina" bumper sticker on my car?
Randomize
