He is such a gentleman, he paid for my plan b
words of advice: black light parties reveal cum stained clothing.
last time I sleep in the lobby. woke up to some girl asking me what floor I lived on. somebody put me, couch included, on the elevator.
You were doing downward dog and puking off my deck at the same time.
there is a time and a place for ass-grabbing and that was not it.
I like to think I'd be good at dodging genitalia.
no dude I'm not doing anything bad to her...remember she's always the DD she has blackmail material on literally all of us
Based off the amount of cat hair on my poncho....i stole a cat last night.
I'd be careful with that one, she got 86'd from the family dollar while SOBER.
They better not charge my debit card for what you peed on.
And if you ever tell anyone that I have emotions ill kill you
The guy I hooked up with last night left me alone with his dog AND IT JUST SHIT ON THE FLOOR. WHAT DO I DO
Not entirely sure how I got drunk off 2 mimosas but here I am
Wait wait wait. You are actually taking advice from this lunatic?
This is the girl who got a balloon full of cocaine through security no questions asked. Of course I'm taking her advice.
Valid.
I just woke up and my ass is covered in honey and my eye brows are shaved off.
Randomize
