Just tried to put my sweatpants on backwards...the chances of passing my physics exam just went down about 100%.
I just ordered a 3 square foot pizza. This is how to beat an eating disorder.
I kind of want you to get arrested just so I could frame an avatar mugshot.
Apparently I confessed my love for him last night. Also, my love for cash4gold commercials.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't really know I'm just giving her a key to get back in and the "don't get pregnant speech" and leaving it at that.
this is worse than the time i threw up a condom.
Dude, you sent that text at 9:44 AM. Who thinks of drugs that early?
Bro, he broke his neck diving into a kiddy pool.
I think I am calling out of work due to a hangover. I'm 96% sure there ISN'T tampon stuck inside me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sorry about flashing you in front of your mom.
THEY DIDN'T THROW MY PORN AWAY!!!!
Gay?
German.
Pity.
Also apparently I made a "cake sandwich"--yeah smashed a massive piece of cake between two slices of bread....fucking tequila
On a scale of one to ten how bad is it that the first cardio I've done in months is jogging to the bars?
I'll just go with dedication.
My head is bruised from having sex in the backseat of an explorer last night.
Randomize