she is graduated, working for the school, and puking in the bathroom of a frat house. she wants brush her hair so she doesnt "look trashy". im in love.
Don't feel too badly. Until twenty minutes ago my paper was a heading and a pizza order.
I looked at my arm when I woke up..I guess after 8 tally marks I said fuck it and wrote "too much"
walking in back of a girl wearing booty shorts, a halter and a bracelet that says trainwreck. I don't get it. The first day of nice weather and all the whores come out, are they like hibernating bears or something?
im pretty sure this vending machine only exists when im drunk
like he said he was barking at you while cumming in your face
Now if u will excuse me I have to go prep my vagina for this amazing sex filled weekend I'm about to encounter
No worries. On my way home to get ski poles and wipe the sick off my face. Then it's time to get drunk in the park
We're following a guy carrying a door for beer pong at his place..join us when you are deemed sober enough to leave the hospital.
I have vodka and explosives. For once, we can blow something up that isn't a blow-up doll.
Had the best sex Thursday night then Friday night I met his girlfriend. The worst thing is we became friends like she gave me her number.
I just walked through the door and she ran up to me, hugged me, unzipped my pants and immediately started sucking my dick. Good day.
First things first, I always get more drunk than the birthday girl. Like, who's idea was it to sing karaoke? I killed it.
Two questions: Did you enjoy your birthday present and how did i wake up with glitter all over my dick?
Want to go to Victoria’s Secret? His fiancée is out of town and I’m going to try and stop the wedding with lingerie and lots adventurous sex
Absolutely! I love a good sexual filibuster!
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