Fuck. sleeping in my sisters room again I heard zombie noises outside my window
I walked out of the bathroom and both of you girls were giving the gay guy head. I was like, "laaaterrr."
Just joined the godiva rewards club. Who's the fat friend now.
im holly from the hills drunk
Any questions about why there was a scuba tank chilling in the hot tub this morning?
I will also take that commission in the form of weed. Pass that on to the asst. manager.
Idk. I was speaking metaphorically. Go for it. As one of your bad decisions, I feel confident in saying you've done worse.
I wish i could just live off of margaritas and good sex.
I feel like if tampons weren't meant to be microwaved, they'd have a warning on the box, so we should be okay...
I've decided that buying my first unused mattress has been my first major step into real adulthood.
I got a snap of someone jumping off a light pole. Was that you? Please confirm or deny. #onWisconsin
Now all I have unanswered questions and a fucked up finger
I still hate everything and everyone around me. Krampus taught me nothing.
How did i spend $200 last night?
Every time you went to get me a drink, you also came back with shots. Then you fell down the steps.
At least he uses his lack of impulse control for chaotic good instead of chaotic evil
Randomize
