Damn I can't remmbre the last tome I had sobr sex
Um. I believe with my boyfriend, slut
Fuck. Wron person. But yea
I don't apprectiate you insinuating that my breasts have a sort of bremuda triangle effect
he was persistant. I supposedly owe him a bj from high school.
i recognized the place by the puke stain i left on the pool table when i hooked up with his roommate.
The waiter to-go cupped my bloody mary without me even asking. THAT hungover.
I have no idea what happened last night, but you're the only person I remember smashing my face into. Be honored.
Then she yelled something like "YOU HAVE SO MANY FORKS!" before collapsing on the floor
We got back together. The pastures weren't greener on the other side, the dicks were just smaller
She ditched her BF in the library to come see me wasted at a house party and i still ended up banging that rugby chick instead.
Got it in all night, now at a bar at 730 am and we are the only two people here. Somewhere my mid twenties father is applauding me.
About to throw up, bathroom line up, Bro sees me. Yells, 'PUKER GET OUT OF WAY' THEY ALL PARTED WAY THREW ME INTO A STALL AND CHEERED AS I THREW UP INTO THE TOILET. we are going back
I stared at him for a solid five minutes because he looked like what I imagine god would look like if god was a lumberjack
Roommate charged out of his room in pajamas yelling "MAKE IT RAIN" and just threw $4,000 in fifties onto my head. My Friday night.
Do you think in an oreo forest they would have rivers of milk?
God yes pancakes and booze sounds like the best night ever.
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