I've been thinking and really it's a miracle I haven't had an STD yet.
the cops didnt even say happy birthday to me :(
its raining. im dressed as yoda and im trick or treating alone. and i wonder why im still a virgin..
I kind of feel like guidos are mythical creatures.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Before attempting to fly away into the night you asked me to take care of your sister. I agreed.
drunk guy next to me on the train just tried to share his pizza with me
he just tried to feed it to me...i love new york
Just saw the german running around on campus. Thought of his small penis.
As you should.
I'm sorry for gagging during our first time having sex
I was drunk
Please answer
If your boss lets you sleep on his couch, you don't pay him back by boning his daughter.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She just told me she thinks she bruised her labia in class
You walked in wearing nothing but a beekeeper mask
I got custody of our girlfriend in the breakup.
Guess who's the proud owner of her very own foxtail butt plug!!
When I meet her I'm going to have to resist the urge of saying "hey! We're Eskimo sisters!"
I thought it was your cat but I was wrong your Roomba is possessed by a pissed-off evil spirit.
Randomize