i can't watch a movie tonight dude, im smoking weed
you smoke with your eyes?
Dude, I would hit that so hard that whoever could pull me out would become the king of England
Just got a orange juice for my grandma, put gin in it without thinking. She's having a good morning.
my FASA form asked what i spent the majority of my 08 earnings on, im tempted to put "booze, blow, & blunts"
Why does Thanksgiving make hot girls feel disgusting and fat girls feel horny? Its killing my prospects.
She was wearing a shirt that said "Just Do Me", holding a half of a bottle of Vodka, and was screaming at her friends "PUSSY JUST SWALLOW!" before she chugged the rest of the bottle.
Dude, if you don't take her, I will.
You were mounting an escalator last night, shouting "I have no health insurance" at people
coming from the girl bound and determined to pee in the snow
why would you restrict a girl of that
I swear the pregnant cashier was jealous when I bought my plan B
come back what if one of your parents walks in and im just sitting here eating a cheesesteak without you
Are you high right now?
is that a question or a drake reference?
I also point out to everyone that she looks like DJ's gf on Roseanne.
The only time we had a decent conversation was when he was on acid, and, like, that's not a great start to a relationship.
I had to switch to male Siri because I could feel female Siri voice judging me for reading my sexts out loud. Also, the dude voice keeps me in the mood.
I LACK THE NECESSARY BRAIN FUNCTIONS TO BE ABLE TO PROPERLY RESPOND TO THAT
Randomize
