Yeudjkisdjxbfceryuj. i love having a qwerty keyboard just so i can do that.
Found a beard hair in my crotch.... care to explain?
Thanks again for allowing my sister to lose her virginity on your bed.
I'm so pissed my boobs hit the emergency stop button during my workout
Okay the common myth about putting tampons in you nostrils for a nose bleed is busted. It just starts coming out through your throat.
Ya well here is the deal with last night, it was the Biggest shit show we have ever co-stared in.
When he wears his hair down and sandals, he looks like Jesus. A Jesus I would fuck.
That's not what Jesus is for
Just picked up an ounce of keif and if it goes to waste before the world ends I'm gonna haunt the shit out of somebody when we all die.
Girl this is ridiculous I told my self that I would stop having sex in stairwells yet it keeps happening
Every little girl dreams of the day when she picks up her fuck buddy because he's drunk at the gay bar again.
Did I tell you guys I was bisexual last night? I just had a flashback
I just realized it's officially fall..I had sex while watching Halloween
what is considered shitting yourself?
Like my underwear wasn't soiled, but there was definitely a departure from my asshole.
Who in their right mind would frost a cake with their butt?
I'm naked, eating straight Nutella, and listening to "Make you feel my love" on repeat. So no. He didn't ask me out.
Randomize
