we went to that german restaurant and drank out of the boots. Then I threw up into one
She's hot and she went to Notre Dame. I want to fuck the Catholic right out of her
so she called me drunk and made me stay on the phone with her while she puked.
When i look at that picture of him, i'm a little proud to be like yeah, his dick was in my mouth saturday no big deal.
this is something i pride myself on being below average for
I'm going to buy you a pony but under one condition: you have to name it sarah jessika parker
Today I learned you can't titshake with a corset on.
Just picture a bunch of Abraham Lincolns having an orgy.
I may wear a condom to jerk-off tomorrow knowing that my hand has touched surfaces in this bar.
Would you and/or him be willing to dress up like the phantom, sing me music of the night and then bone the shit out of me? this is important.
I just saw my 7th grade teacher at the club. We had a pretty good talk over drinks. Turns out we both like dancing on tables.
I finished masturbating now I'm eating french toast crunch. What is life, and what are friends.
Don't tell me you're on acid again
Um..... I have taste. The only thing I am going to bedazzle is my vagina.
Is it bad that I like to have a guy to flirt with in every class? I feel like it's excellent motivation: to shave, to shower and to show up.
Randomize
