So #1 way to come back last night and #2 wishbone and I broke into his house and i opened joey's door and u were both passed out and pantless.
just got cropdusted by the delivery guy...this was not in my job description.
When I masturbate I pretend my dick is the slap chop an I'm destroying vegtables. Do you think that's a eating disorder?
He's married, a coworker, and a smoker. not sure which personal rule broken i'm most ashamed of...
We uncovered another pile of vomit after you left. And i am not talking about the one in the vase
No, she passed out instead. I have the worst luck, its like Jesus is mad at me for having the same birthday as him
I'm just gonna ignore the fact that I have no pants on and find a way home. A good one-nighter never goes back for his pants.
you closed your eyes and pointed to a cupboard..there was vodka on the top shelf. your sixth sense is amazing. plus, we convinced the foreign kid you're a booze whisperer
We all just did coke and we're coloring so if you're sober its pointless for you to come over here
I totally OverDed on K2 last night. I felt like I was made of lead and then I had a panic attack.
When we were having sex last night, I told him I would replace him with tacos
So drunk I thought the door was feeling me up for a seconds
We tried to do sophisticated last night, but our low class kept shining through.
i want to platonically make out with them, platonically. in the back of this minivan
God specifically crafted these hands to deal out orgasms.
Randomize
