Would it be quicker to bike the freeway home?
I want to touch your soul through your body...with my penis...
Mike i'm at church right now...
I just masturbated at work. Does that make me a prostitute since i just technically got paid to have sex?
I ate a lot of your sunchips. I mean a lot. Like 4 to 5 bags.
When I told my boss I'm using a vacation day for 4/20, he gave me his personal cell phone number and winked at me.
in mid cry she says "I can be a whore if I want to"
I just slow jerked to the titanic theme song, i dont think theres enough alcohol in the state to get me over her tonight
He wanted me naked, so I got naked. You can't hold that against me.
Stop trying to get a gf and raw dog some forest beasts like sasquatch
So note to self oboe reeds soaked in Apple Rubinoff sound GREAT.
It's always nice when a total stranger hates your ex just as much as you think they should.
just like fucking own it. stare that cop in the eye and just keep masturbating "yeah motherfucker Im high as shit and this feels great"
It can't be Friday yet, in still getting friend requests of people I don't remember from last weekend
I'm supposed to be at work in 10 min, I just woke up and am 45 min away...tinder for the win
Can you imagine doing supermarket sweep in a sex store? What's the sex store equivalent of a whole ham?
Randomize
