let's have our labels/stereotypes/careers for each kid by next week.
oh how i love working at summer camp.
Well, I'm a guy so I don't have one, but if its anything like the inside of my nose, yes, vodka would burn.
I'm such a slut...i kept having sex with him after he called me his ex gf's name. I just felt like i deserved something out of it too.
I had a wet dream about my mom last night. words can't even begin to discribe how scarred I am. what. the. fuck.
Let's put it this way, it's 9am and that box of wine looks like the cure
Can you check your dirty laundry bag for my tooth.
Walked in on my boss having phone sex at work... and somehow this didnt bother nor embaress him
The great thing about vietnam is that if I'm drunk during the day people just think I'm being white
Sorry blacked out and lost my phone. Judging by the looks of my body I fought a cat and fell into a bush.
Like an undercooked grilled cheese that got cold again. But hairy.
And there goes my desire for sandwiches. Forever.
I don't go out. I live in my room watching Bridget Jones and thanking my vibrator for existing.
where will you be at 9:30 tonight?
piledriving you in your roommate's bed?
He changed the password on his Netflix account. The break up is official.
I found a hot kiwi last time and sucked his dick. That's what rooftop bars are made for.
You used a fucking bud light like as lube last night. I'd get a UTI test like stat.
Randomize
