Hey baby girl when you gonna let my tongue get up in that ass like i'm an explorer trying to go deep under on a quest for the lost city of atlantis
your text was fucking rediculious. Will let you eat my asshole though.
i just made my mom cry by blowing spit bubbles.
New drink name: the Vermont Douchebag. Take shot of maple syrup, drop into cup of jager, bomb.
According to google history I spent most of last night trying to buy an elephant.
I'm walking down the street with a Starbucks in one hand and a flask in the other. People seem to have a staring problem
We hooked up with his aunt passed out next to us. It was just like old times.
I don't think he understands the importance of corndogs. Or condoms for that matter.
they won't let me drive with my sombrero
Did you just buzz the apartment and throw shit at the window? Josh and rob came into my room and woke me up
Fuck you Ian. U owe me $3.65 cuz thasts what I thfrew at ur window trying to wake ur ass up. And fuck u for not giving a shit
well in DOG beers, i've only had one
sold 4 oz of weed today pantsless. man i love college.
If I come home tho and find u passed out naked in my bed with the bottle of crown empty, we're gonna have issues.
I'm sorry, I can't help the fact that I like to sleep naked, and I like booze, together it looks bad, yes.
I think my penis runs off weed. I haven't smoked it 3 days and I have no sex drive what so ever
I just realized I'm currently not eating carbs, drinking alcohol or having sex. 2014 is off to a horrible start.
I know it's my dream I got hurt enough to leave work but not hurt enough to stop drinking
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