Make note: the first date is too soon to make the "condoms are only for making balloon animals" joke.
I love being friends with rich people. I get laid by association.
Why are all the lights on in my house? Every single one. Someone should turn them off but I'm the only one here and I'm sure as hell not doin it.
Just got new surround sound speakers for my computer... I feel like I'm actually IN the porn now.
i have more money on itunes than i do in my bank account... college.
Apparently I mistakenly called the hair club for men at 3am... they called me back this morning.
bark. im thoroughly looking forward to kegs and eggs. next weekend should be pancakes and pinnical, then cereal and seagrams and then whiskey and waffles.
Oh eartly, In cocy youtu youchv make the wallflowers d tskunks!y, couch protection now,.sryou should feel special !
Ohhhh sweet! I may be down for that. I'll be a german beer girl probably passed out on a park bench somewhere.
and I believe it was when I was running to class to take a test still drunk in my Halloween costume that I realized I have reached that point in the semester where I just don't give a flying fuck anymore.
I just spent the last ten minutes making a timeline of my sex life. 2010 and 2011 I am calling "I can't believe Im still clean" years.
are we fucking for lunch or am I using my vibrator ?
Not only did I get the promotion, but last night after sex he took me outside and let me hold it for him while he peed in the snow. I made a heart. This week is going amazing
This whole quitting my bad habits all at once is really messing with my ability to function.
I just threw up in front of a bunch of parents/prospective students while they were on a campus tour..awesome..
Randomize