I didn't know that people actually queef. Is this a real thing?
I believe so, yes.
Would you be offended if I asked if it has happened to you?
That Joe Wilson reference just earned you a blow job, Mister!
chasing schnapps with beer is a terrible idea. never been drunk at 3PM before. please help please please please please
you yelled "you will never make love to jesus" and then ran into the tv.
So basically i got outta bed and started peeing on the a/c unit..when my roommate tried to stop me i looked at him and said "i got this"
Oh wait looks like my cousin is getting deported THERE'S HOPE FOR THIS CHRISTMAS YET
I'm sorry, when did "I like your shit" become an acceptable pickup line?
Exactly. This is the bit where I learn a heartwarming lesson about not making my drinks half vodka
I have the WORST cramps EVER. I think this is gods way of saying 'you're welcome, last warning. stop being a slut.'
This weekend I forgot a cup, so I drank my wine out of a Pringles can. So classy. You would have been so proud.
I unknowingly motorboated my boyfriend's ex-gf last night. Yay me!
Either of you know why the shower was on and the bathroom door wide open with no one in there at 6 in the morning?
Got drunk with him at an Irish pub ended up losing him for twenty minutes when I finally find him his piss drunk singing Irish folk music with a group of Irish guys and a midget
He meets the coolest people when he's drunk
can you come here so we can have really loud sex? the girl upstairs walks so loud i want her to know how it feels
of course
He’s got a big dick and a big ego. This could be fun
Randomize
