I swear to god he was trying to crawl under my door last night muttering "I'm Alex Mac! I'm Alex Mac!"
remember what we learned. dont lure girls w/ food at the bar. u dont want those ones
You just kept yelling at the cabby "I own this cab" and insisted on smoking with all the windows up
We made a trail of cheez balls so we knew how to get back to te apartment.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This is your liver's 7:15 wake up call. Mandatory margarita popsicles after work today. Rule #71: no excuses, play like a champ!
Thank you for calling me on to a higher level of debauchery. fuck anyone who says we aren't good for each other
we had break-up sex in a port-a-potty. how do you think it went?!
Is that a polar bear? You seriously grinded with a polar bear at the club?
SHE SITS THERE LIKE A DICK LIKE AN ACTUAL DICK JUST LIMP AND DUMB AND BLAH
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Aside from having sex with a rando in a toga on george's couch i think taking plan b in the library is the most hashtag college thing i've ever done
He was like, I wanna take it slow. I took off my bra And I was like, either we have sex now or you get out.
How did they ever let a trainwreck like myself run a bar?!
Do not buy a prego test at the Walgreens you frequent. It's awkward. Just trust me.
Legal advice please. Can you sue someone for jerking off to photos of you?
Call me Sherlock Holmes, bitch.
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