the crunchwrap supreme is the def leppard of the taco bell menu
which is why it's clearly superior
I think you should know he took my pants (buttons and zippers included) and my thong off with his mouth alone. I found my husband
I should have known there'd be issues when he included "beautiful soul" in our playlist
You should have been there to see the look on her face when I told her that my dog gives better head than her. It was a beautiful symphony of shock, anger, and disbelief.
i have only one word for you: 3somewithnorwegiangirls
Do you not remember you showing everyone in the bathroom your period stained underwear? I'd say you were pretty happy it came
Come, dress lightly, bring tequila...
I mean, we do coke and have sex occasionally...I wouldn't call that a relationship.
If i want her back i know all i have to do is sleep with a specific handful of her closest friends. That method is tried and true.
Puking on the side of the road and legitimately just got a head nod and thumbs up from an 80 year old man on a Segway... What the fuck?
The saddest thing about graduating is that we won't have free access to STI screening anymore
Ugh... The hoe gods giveth and the hoe gods taketh away.
I blame everything on you. My broken heart, my fucked up liver and my twisted mind.
That's good. So do you know why there is a giant pile of old tires in the laundry room and kitchen?
Well we knew you needed some tires, found someone on the way home who was giving them away and took them all. Has to be 4 in there you can use.
I got here. Mom yelled "drink of the day is blueberry sangria" and next thing I knew I was on a slip and slide.
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