WTF I just almost got ran over by a fucking cop!!!!!!
LOL you shoulda thrown yourself in front for money. Fucking cops!
Dude, don't freak out but the girl who stuck the hair brush in her ass is here. I can't look her in the eye!!
I wish they made helmets for livers.
we were having sex and she freaked out when i said nipple
there's a sign at taco bell and it says "bacon and ranch make everything better." it speaks to me.
You never realize how many sex toys you have until you have to strategically hide them while moving out of your dorm.
regular news: took many shots of tequila.....bad news: woke up with a toothbrush and vagisil next to me.....good news: clean as a whistle
What makeup look will say to the therapist 'I am a smart, well-adjusted young woman'?
His blow is so strong I threw up. Buy it. I'm in nursing school I know what I'm talking about.
He literally said to me "go ahead and answer that text message while I eat you out"... Maybe I AM the relationship type...
this cock blocking thing really has to end bro...its one thing to tell jen i live with my mom.. its another to cut the brakes on my car..
I'm so glad you support me having casual sex with your uncle
Found another bruise from Saturday #stopliquor2014
You're acting like you didn't chug fireball, like duh you have bruises you drunk betch
I just had sex on my kitchen counter. It's like the American dream
I hate that I will forever be known as the girl who puked on the front lawn. That only happened once.
Randomize
